-->

Thanks to Dave at Comic vs. Audience for the excellent video:

I'm also happy to announce that Rob and I are performing a brand-new sketch comedy show, These Modern Worlds, March 7 and 8 at The Shubin in Philadelphia. Tickets are $10, and half of ticket sales will go to support Project H.O.M.E.

Remember how I flipped my gourd over Picnicface's Powerthirst II? Now allow me to present their also amazing Super Bingo:

Every now and then I like to do the public service of looking at what search terms brought people my website and providing answers to their questions. For example, if you came here searching for "Can chopped up liver move on its own?" (which, incidentally, has happened at least three times now), I'd like to direct you to this post in which I note that your food probably has worms or other dudes hanging out in it.

Today I'd like to tackle "What snack food is most recognized in January?"

January is actually one of the most difficult months to peg with a single most-recognized snack food. A number of factors influence January snacking decisions, including:

  • The month-long slide from "diet" to "not diet" as "New Year's resolution" becomes "I miss cheese."
  • The ebb and flow of holiday foods, including the wane of gingerbread men at the beginning of the month and the wax of candy hearts at the end.
  • Sadness and malaise brought on by Seasonal Affective Disorder, a condition curable by increased exposure to sunlight and/or consuming the traditional medicinal beverage known as "the sauce."

Now then, keeping these factors in mind, let's take a look at some of January's popular snack foods:

  • Crackers: They're perfect with dips, cheeses, and overly processed meats. They have enough delicious fat that if you ever actually looked at the recommended serving size, you'd choke on your Chicken-in-a-Biscuit. But are they decadent? Are the indulgent? In the end, crackers lack the sex appeal needed to be January's most-recognized snack food.
  • Wings: Despite being a year-round favorite, wings face their greatest challenge in January. With the Super Bowl in early February, too many people will go without wings all January so they taste that much better during the big game. Plus, some people debate whether wings even belong on the snack list in the first place: are they really a snack? Or are they a meal? An appetizer? A disqualification hearing is pending.
  • The Apple: This dark-horse candidate is heavily recognized during the first week of the month, but then quickly traded for apple-flavored candy. Is the spike in recognition at the beginning of the month enough to make ol' Granny Smith and her Gala gang the most recognized snack food? Heck nope.

So what then? When you're at a party and someone says, "Quick, what's the most recognized snack food of January?" what do you say to avoid looking like a fool? What is the most recognized snack food of January? Well, I'll tell you:

The Donut: Whether you're getting it "healthy" old-fashioned or sugary sweet, the donut goes well with hot beverages, which people often drink to warm themselves up in the January cold. The donut also has the unique benefit of being acceptable at any meal or snack time of the day. Nachos for breakfast? People think you’re crazy. A sprinkle- and frosting-topped donut? You're as sane as rain. The donut is a classic, and yet, it's so...now.

The donut, like a diamond, is forever.

Tags: thesite me snacks